3
March
2008
Tonight, after Legally Blonde, the class was honored with a tour backstage of the Palace Theatre. Natalie was gracious enough to show us around and give us a splendid tour. It was great to meet with her and realize how real and how like us she is. It was great to walk through the dressing rooms and see the reality of the life under the stage.
We walked through the guys’ dressing rooms and then Natalie led us up a steep winding staircase to the stage of the Palace Theatre. I stepped onto the stage- and I had chills. I scoped about the seats- trying to wrap my mind about many there were, about how many people there could be in the audience in one night. I stood centre stage, and looked down on my feet. My feet were there, so were my legs, and then I realized where I was standing and what I was doing. Chills came all about me and I could not keep in the tears. If it was not for Natalie and the gracious tour, I am sure I would have fallen to my knees. Other than moving to America, this was the greatest night of my life. That is not an exaggeration- tonight, I realized that this life is for me. I realized that this is what I want to do. I want to do this, I need to do this, and the more I am here I am realizing I can do this.
The can part is the section that has been keeping me from my dream. Granted, with the way I look right now I have a small range- but that can change. And it will. But before this trip, my dreams and my goals were unattainable. I felt that I could never make it. But thanks to the city, and thanks to some kind words from friends, I realize that I am the only one that has been hindering myself from my goals. I am so caught up on that small range that I feel that there is no hope for me. But, that range can change, and even if there was a smaller range- that does not mean that I will not be successful.
I was on that stage, and it was a monumental experience for me. It was enlightening- and now I am ready-ready to allow myself to make this happen.
Posted: Dreams, New York, feelings
20
February
2008
Well, I have not posted for a week. I know that is bad! Since my last post I have been getting my contacts together. I have sent a few emails to some prominent female actors that I really want to talk to. I tracked down Patricia Phillips, the current Carlotta on Broadway. It would be a dream to talk to her and find out how she was able to get to this place in her life where she is able to play such an amazing role. I also have tried to make contact with Shannon Durig (Tracy in Hairspray) and actors that are in the chorus of musical productions to see what their days are like. I am still waiting to hear back.I have made some contacts, however, in the other aspects of my research. I am auditing a class at TVI acting studio and meeting with a recruiter to discuss possible summer programs and internships. I am going to steps studio to ATTEMPT to take a dance lesson. Also I have an appointment with a recruiter from Julliard to discuss an advanced degree in vocal performance. I really want to get a vocal lesson while I am there, but I am not sure where to start with that at the moment.I am getting stressed and I feel a little overwhelmed. I haven’t been blogging about it, but I feel like it would be good to get it out. I got the role of Mrs. Hardcastle in She Stoops to Conquer. I am extremely glad I got the role. As I read the script magical ideas pop into my head of what I could do (comedic timing wise.) I also plan to change my voice to create a bubbly effect. I am scared though I may not be able to express these ideas I have. I am working with a different director. I am sure that is a great thing, but since freshman year I have gotten into a pattern of how the production is put up and how much leeway I am allowed creatively - and that is a lot. We have begun blocking. The director said she likes to begin blocking first because movement can help with character development. I think that is a great idea and I have never done that before in a process. Yet, I feel a little tense because I want to get to know and work on Mrs. Hardcastle- and I am doing that at the moment with no guidance. I wonder what it is like for actors to go from director to director and have to switch the mode of what they are used to in the process. The director said she does not want to play it safe with Mrs. Hardcastle.I think playing it safe means playing it like Mother Superior or Domina. She said I brought a little Domina into the audition and wants me to take a different route. I have taken a different route - and I am excited to see where it goes. In high school I was given the opportunity to play different kinds of roles. Here at university, I have started to get into playing the comedic relief stock characters. Believe me, I enjoy them immensely! I think it is what I do best. But that is all I know I do best because I have not had the opportunity to do anything different. I think even though Mrs. Hardcastle is that stock like character- I can make some changes to delve into different aspects and personalities of the character. My mum and dad bought me a laminated map of New York City and sent it to me this week. I think they are coming to terms with it. My mum and dad saw the you-tube video and I think my dad was slightly taken a back. Not only from the technology, but he got a little upset. Not mad, like teary eyes. I think they are beginning to realize that this trip is not only going to have a huge impact on my life- but also theirs. Even though we are still close, I think they are beginning to go through the separation process! O well blog more real soon!
Posted: Contacts, feelings, nervous, thea435
7
February
2008
Last class we watched all of our two minute digital stories. It went really well. Everyone’s was really different and it was nice to see the variety of creativity in the class. Mine, I feel was really different. I made mine really personal. I do not think there was a right and a wrong- but I talked about some really personal things that I hope some can appreciate and relate to.
Each class, we are asked to read the Washington Post, Style and Arts and the New York Times Sunday Arts sections. We discuss important articles in class and add our imput to the articles. Gregg pointed out that we are not making connections to our work or to our world when discussing the articles. When I read the articles, I take them in- but I know I am not really connecting them to the outside world or our culture. I will start doing that. I understood that we were reading the newspapers for a greater reason than just to see what is going on- but I do tend to read the newspaper just to scan and see what interesting things are happening. After last night’s class, however, I will start to make those deeper and important connections.
Speaking of connections, we started researching last night on who we might want to see and talk for our projects. I am excited to start making contacts- but where on earth do I start!? There are a few names that I have found that you can see on my wiki page- but I know that is not enough. How many contacts/interviews do we need to do? Is there a decent number? What will I ask? I just want to get the ball rolling so I can start cracking down to focus on this project.
The more I think about this class, the more I think this is what I want to do. I was thinking of going to law school- but that is flying out the window because I am so concentrated on this particular aspect of my life right now. I am scared that I won’t make it though. I mean that is a fear for everyone- but I think I could make it into law school more easily than making it in this business. I know I need to have faith in myself- but there is a lot of competition and talent out there. How am I going to stand out? How am I going to make this happen? Can I survive and get through those cattle call auditions? I will make an audition? I have to brush up on my dancing- is it too late to learn? I know I am putting up these obsticles…but they are constantly on my mind. Maybe I will be able to find someone to talk to who will ease my mind…or just validate how I am feeling right now.
Posted: Contacts, New York, feelings, thea435
3
February
2008
So, I was rather nervous to research YouTube and the video aspect of this project. I can shoot with a video camera quite well, but uploading that onto a website is something completely different. With more practice, I am sure I will be able to achieve this technical aspect of this class.
While researching on the website, I came across this lovely five minuite video on New York City and Broadway. When I see media like this, it makes me a lot more comfortable about going to the city. This video reminds me about the reason I want to go to New York. I want to see where I will be potentially living, and I want to see what I may be doing if I am blessed enough to retain those opportunities. I really want to make it that far- I do want to make it to New York City- and I think this class will give me the courage I need to reach that dream.
Posted: New York, feelings, thea435
24
January
2008
So, after my long-winded blog last night I felt like a new day may give me some more rationality…right? Well I am still rather worried that we did not come to any conclusions yesterday in class. I am going to continue to research and get some figures…but even with 20 people gathering figures- we will still be in the same place.
I have been reading a few of my friend’s blogs, and I wanted to talk about them. My close friends Helena and Katie have been discussing the fears they do and do not have with this class and upcoming trip. I can relate to Helena. Katie gives another perspective where she writes that she is not afraid of anything. I admire that- but I am certainly nothing like that. In class, Gregg asked us if we had any fears with the class. People were discussing the research and the potential interviews- none of this was on my mind. I can converse quite well- but I am extremely frightened about being in New York by myself. I guess I am quite lucky to have so many friends that are independent and adventurous. I have never gone on a trip without my support system and I have never been on a trip where I could be potentially out of my comfort zone. My mum and dad are always there, or if not- I have only been on trips with my boyfriend or friends that I have known since 7th grade. I have never been to New York, and I am nervous about going in the city by myself. I am quite capable; I a sure of it. It is just that the idea of being a grown up is staring me right in the face. I am sure lots of people my age want to embrace that- but I am come from a place where I have been cushioned and sheltered. It is about time that I grow up in this way- but I have apprehensions about it.
I am anxious to see how I will do in the city, but I am glad that I have some close friends who will be there with me!
Posted: New York, feelings, nervous, thea435
